Before you begin to discuss your child’s behaviour, check yourself on the following:
1. Do you listen to your child ever? Enough?
2. Are your conversations,
• constant questions to the child?
• unidirectional – only you are talking, advising, lecturing, instructing, directing.
3. Do you tell lies to other people (hide information or not speak the truth) in front of your child?
4. Do you tell lies to the child? (make promises and not keep them)
5. Do you tutor the child in their responses to friends, family and other adults in their world – what to talk, not to talk, or ask them to block their grandparents, aunts, uncles on social media ?
6. Do you gate crash events for fun?
7. Is ‘money talk’ an important part of your discussions at home? Do you discuss your discontent or aspirations around collecting and spending money often?
8. Are your conversations at family time, all about material possessions?
9. Do you speak to your staff in a loud and impolite tone of voice, often disregarding or disrespecting them?
10. Is your tone of voice loud, curt and demanding with family members at home?
11. Do you complain about your life and communicate your unhappiness to your child?
12. Do you consider the birth of your child the reason for your inability to live your dreams or succeed in life? Do you share this with or infront of your children?
13. Do you compare your kids to other children within or outside the family?
14. Do you compare your lifestyle to other people’s ?
15. Is your couple relationship (relationship to the child’s other parent) conflicting or laden with hidden contempt and unhappiness?
Children’s behaviour is either a reflection of your behaviour or an act of resistance and defiance. Your child doesn’t need a counsellor.You may be the one who needs to see the counsellor. They need YOU. They need YOU to do the right things for YOURSELF.
Here to hear you.